You are not who you were...

I was having a conversation with my husband about the notion of dating that somehow morphed into a conversation about life experiences.

And I was lamenting about how my social life in high school were not my favorite memories. High school wasn't a total wash, but I just felt like there was a lot more left to be desired from my experience.

So my husband says brilliant things with great execution, and said, "Well imagine if you didn't live that life, we might not have met, and we'd be totally different people. And you're not that person anymore."

Whoa. It's so true.

And I don't think this concept is necessarily original or new. It's something I've thought about a lot. It's something that I consider and reminisce about with my husband. I always ask him, "What if we didn't decide to do the things we did? Imagine who we would have become..."

I think all too often people think that they are stuck with who they are. As if it's impossible to enact change in one's life. That all the things in the past define who you are as a person today. While I agree that life experiences of the past do shape the person I am today, I am not who I was. I am not the same person I was when I was sixteen. I am not the same person I was three weeks ago. We are constantly evolving and growing from those past experiences, and we are not who we were.

Imagine who you can be. Who do you want to be?

I'm not talking about falling into an existential crisis and feeling ennui about "Who am I? Why am I here?" But more so, it's the idea of where do I want to be? How do I want to leave my impression on this earth? What is it in life that drives me? What is my joie de vivre?

Looking forward. Remembering the past and accepting it, but moving forward. You are not who you were.

Are you happy with who you are? If the answer is yes, SWEET! You're already ahead of the curve.

If the answer is no, what makes you happy? Is there something out there that you've always wanted but have been thinking, "I could never do that."

Consider the possibilities.

Consider the opportunities.

Growing up I was always shy. I was quiet and reserved and preferred being in the sidelines, listening. It wasn't until I was in college that I started to flex those "outgoing" muscles. I've never been one to strike up a conversation, but if someone talks to me, I will gladly chat with them. So bit by bit, I started to introduce myself to friendly faces. I tried to start the conversation. It was sometimes hit or miss, but at least I tried. In high school, I probably wouldn't have tried that. In college, I was not who I was in high school.

After college, and early into my first "real" job at a company, I always admired my friend's ability to talk to anyone. ANYONE. Without hesitation. Without fear. I wanted that. I wanted to learn from her. So little by little, as I was starting my foray into wedding photography I would go to photographer get-togethers. ALONE. I didn't even bring a wingman! This was seriously some nerve-wracking stuff for me, especially when I have always thought of myself as a shy person. But I put myself out there. I felt the fear, and did it anyway. And in retrospect, I'm so glad that I did.

I gave myself a crash course, on-the-spot training on how to talk to strangers. It wasn't so scary. I'm still working on piping up in larger group settings, because I still recede from conversations with more than five or six people and listen. However, I'm not who I was. I'm not the girl paralyzed by fear that I was when I was fifteen.

I am, who I've become.

And it's constant refining and evolution, but that's the beauty of life.

What's your opportunity?

Merci a tous,
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